How often do businesses send an formal introduction letter or email that falls flat and not get the response?
The purpose of your sales letter and intent is to get the attention of your read, introduce what is your unique service,
and generate an active response and ‘call for action.’
A typical scenario for most business and organisations.
Your sales representative drafts the content of the introduction letter:
The letter greets and formally to asks the recipient to contact your sales representative or company for a meeting or a queries to a quote.
You read it, amend it slightly, sounds good to you.
Then off it goes into the wide world of blank responses. And we wonder why?
Here’s an example a introduction that seems to do the job:
Greetings From A1 Rent-A-Car !
Our company provide a wide range of both continental and Japanese make and model of vehicles to cater the requirement of car leasing. Corporate company do not need to burden by the cost of depreciation, maintenance, Insurance and Road Tax.
We are seeking for an opportunity to be of service to you and we sincerely look forward to meet up with
you to discuss on the vehicle leasing services to your esteemed organization.
Meanwhile, please feel free to contact us should require any queries or quotation on the leasing rates.
Name of Sales Rep
The above letter sounds amiable enough. When received to the right person who directly is looking for supplier, could potentially elicit a response. However if it is received by a general administrative personnel, who has no interest of need for, in this case vehicle leasing.
And we wonder why it did not result to much action.
The same often occurs on websites, online sales real estate.
Your brand and service proposition has to identify a problem that your target profile would be interested to solve.
Check to see if your introduction letter and webpage has the following elements:
- What is it that you do(Services specialty)?
- What is the product (If is a physical commodity) that is worth taking a moment
of your prospective’s precious time to read and comprehend?
- What are the services that you provide?
- What problem are you aiming to solve?
- Who are you proposing to help?
- Include demonstrated examples to build confidence and trust that you can and have delivered.
Here’s the edited Sales introduction letter with all the most of the above elements.
The changes gives clarity, better flow of information and clear ‘call for action’.
(What the company does and service that they provide)
A1 Rent-A-Car specialises in Vehicle Leasing for commercial and personal purposes .
We have a wide range of well-maintained and serviced fleet of Continental and Japanese vehicles.
(Benefit of your services)
With Vehicle leasing from Index Rent-A-Car, you do not have to be inconvenienced by;
- Depreciation costs
- Regular maintenance,
- Road Tax administration
- and more…
With just a fixed monthly hire rate, we take care of all that for you.
(Qualitfying question and what action you would like them to take)
Are you or your company looking at options for vehicles and like to work with professional and friendly vehicle leasing specialist?
If not, please forward this to someone in your organisation that does.
For a competitive quote on vehicle leasing from A1-Rent-A-Car, please get in touch with me.
I would be happy to discuss and present to you our fleet of vehicles, full auto services and rates.
I look forward to be of service, propose the right make and model of vehicles to suit your needs.
Name of Sales Rep
Remember to compliment your brand, company’s name with visuals to tell the story.
(Pictures tell a thousand words, don’t they?)
Note what is most important and interesting in your prospect prospective. The language and tone depends and can vary to be conversational, causal or formal, depending on the service and style that your company and culture would like to be represented.
Aim to engage and communicate what you present, in less than a minute.
On a website, should not take more than 45 seconds to identify what is it that you do.
On structure and navigation, that’s a whole different story.
A sales page may not work for many reasons. Do a little research with at least a few more people and see if the problem/solution etc. resonates with them. If it does, then there might be something else wrong with your sales sequence. And it’s worth investigating.
But if the audience doesn’t get all excited about the problem/solution it’s time to get right back to that drawing board. Get another client. Do another target profile interview. It sure is worth the trouble
Till next sharing, plan and test your next introduction letter. It would reward you well.